Lead Yourself First…
Yo YO YYOOOoooo!!! What up H3:33 Fam Bam! I’m back again, so you know what time it iiiissssss. The first major “holiday” of this season has passed and we are three days into December. What’s going on out there? How are we feeling? I’m in a fantastic space and REFUSE to allow the pressures of this time of year bring me down. As always…sending peace, love, and happiness to you ALL!
Now back to business….and what we are here for. Annoootthhheeerrrr Note from the jjoouurrnneeeyyyy. Last week I mentioned how I almost wrote on the topic I used for a social media post but decided to pivot based on the book I was/am still reading. I am truly enjoying the book and if you have never read “The Four Agreements” I highly recommend it….I actually almost wrote about something from that today(12/2/25) but decided to go back to my original idea from last week.
Leading Yourself First is a principle that is important for anyone who is or wants to be in a relationship, a parent, or simply the best version of themselves. As men, we are taught to “lead” as kids at home, in sports or at school for various reasons. HONESTLY, this wouldn’t be a bad thing but how can we lead anyone else…….if we cannot lead ourselves first?
If we can’t guide our own thoughts…
our emotions…
our habits…
then the world will guide them for us!
When I say “The world will guide them for us”....this is in reference to indoctrination, the refusal to acknowledge emotions, and the lack of DISCIPLINE. It is also possible I should have said ME….because I have been victim to all three of those throughout my time here on this planet. Honestly….all three concurrently for the majority of my life.
What that looked like was me being unable to see how PATRIARCHY harms everyone…men included…and how deeply it sits inside religion, politics, and culture.. The indoctrination is so deep that women(not all but a LOT)...who benefit the least from it…cannot always see where the indoctrination sits and fights for it to remain in place. So that, along with my refusal to acknowledge emotions kept me in a space of being ready to explode at any point in time because I was holding everything in and pretending to be OK. Lacking discipline allowed me to be distracted by anything that was visually appealing to me. I.e. women, cars, shoes, jewelry….
So now….because of the aforementioned details…..I was an unregulated child in a grown man body…..Trying to LEAD at work, at home, and eventually as a father….but I cannot even keep myself together. How did I even think that would be possible? If my life is chaos…anything linked to me , that looks to me as the masculine presence…will also be in CHAOS. There is no way around it.
Shortly after my sons were born…there were two things my father told me that always stuck with me:
“You don’t have to be with her… to be a great father”
“Always be sure to take time for yourself.”
Those quotes, and beginning therapy around 8 years ago truly helped me learn how to lead myself first. If I am not happy with who I am as Hiram. Then I cannot and WILL not be the best father, partner, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin,friend or co-worker….that I can be. Or that myself and others deserve.
Because a man who leads himself:
wakes with intention,
moves with purpose,
and chooses discipline over impulse.
He doesn’t wait for motivation.
He creates direction.
And when you lead yourself first—
your presence becomes leadership.
Not by title…
but by example.
Every man is the leader of one person:
the one in the mirror.
Master him…
and everything else follows.
Lead yourself first.
That’s the beginning of healing…
which builds strength.
And rising…
which builds legacy.
Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on YouTube, IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth.
Holla at MMmeeeeeee
Hiram
H3:33