You Don’t Owe Your OLDself Loyalty

YOOOOOO!!! What’s going on H3:33 Fam Bam!! Since I started writing these blogs I feel like time (which was already moving rapidly) and the speed at which it is passing….has increased exponentially 🤯. Happy Wednesday, Christmas Eve and Notes from the Journey day! Ya’ll know the vibes over here by now….BUT…making assumptions is something I try to never do so I should honor that. Plus, this could be someone’s first time here…if so….WELCOME! I’m feeling good….feeling great…feeling great feeling good, how are yooouuu? Sharing my sentiments I hope. I already sang last week so I won’t take it there but sending positive vibes, healing energy, and LOVE to those in need 🫶🏿.

Now….let’s get to it. Tomorrow is a day in which lots of people are giving gifts to others…while potentially neglecting themselves. So I’d like to use this platform to give YOU…..a gift from ME…..that is actually a gift YOU…will be giving YOURSELF 😉. We’ll circle back to that in a little bit…..

There are only TWO more Wednesdays in this calendar year of 2025…..typically around this time people begin making promises to themselves, friends and family….or posting on social media about what will be left in 2025 and who they will now be in 2026. Change is a beautiful and necessary part of life…..a theme that was actually my first blog post back in October “When Change Chooses You”.....and here we are again but with a different angle.

A voluntary change……. when we are ready to leave behind values, ideas, friends, family, lifestyles, and jobs that worked for the “OLDself”….but no longer aligns with who we have and/or will become can be challenging. Along the twists and turns of my journey I often STRUGGLED with the man I was evolving into….and my old lifestyle. I saw a post long ago that resonated deeply and mentioned something along the lines of how our “diet” consists of MORE than the food we ingest with our mouths. It also includes the things we consume with our eyes and ears. The energetic exchange that comes from physical touch and may have even touched on how smells factor in(aroma therapy). 

Using this perspective, and all of the variables that come with what is included in our “diet”.....what I came to realize is that…the diet of my OLDself…made the new verison of me….sick…..and the diet of that same new verison…..made the OLDself…..SICK. Both versions felt malnourished…but for opposite reasons….and as I am typing this…I am realizing that it is quite POETIC for real. Life is always about BALANCE….Yin/Yang….Light/Dark….Good/Evil…..Additon/Subtraction….Multiplication/Division…Rain/Shine….Gas/Brakes…Fire/Water….and I could go on and on but you get the point. 

The hard part about that balance…..is remaining there. Earlier I mentioned that “values”, “friends”, “family”, lifestyles, and jobs will no longer align…and that will cause friction. When people have known “you” for a long time…..and have remained around…that means they were good with that verison……EVEN IF…that person was not the best version of YOU. This friction looks like arguments, lack of or NO communication, and possible sadness or anger. The friction looks different when it’s values, lifestyles or a job because a tough conversation with a friend or loved one may not(but ABSOLUTELY could) stem from this…..but an emotional response(sadness,fear, anger, uncertainty,etc) is likely. 

The friction occurs because it is not easy for us…or others when what has been normalized….is no longer status quo. Unfortunately for the “others”....this is not about them….well…not directly anyway 🤷🏿‍♂️. Soooo…..Back to the gift I have for YOU…..

You Don’t Owe Your OLDself LOYALTY!

Don’t feel bad for the feathers you ruffle…..for the social events you no longer wish to attend……or the conversations you no longer wish to engage in.

EMBRACE the new diet you wish to consume….

SOAK in the PEACE that you have cultivated……

RADIATE the LOVE that you feel daily…..

REMEMBER that this version is not dependent on anyone or anything outside of your NEW most AUTHENTIC self! God gave us all FREE will and everything we need to be the best version of ourselves….INSIDE of us!

 This is the gift that we give ourselves…..REMEMBRANCE.

You Don’t Owe Your OLDself LOYALTY!

We APPRECIATE that version for getting us to where we are, say THANKS and move on…turn the page…end the chapter….transition the season. If people outside of you do not understand ….that is a reflection of THEM…not you. Do not make ASSUMPTIONS and do not take anything PERSONAL. Try your BEST everyday and be IMPECCABLE with your words!

Healing builds strength. Rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on YouTube, IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

When Peace is Unrecognizable

AAYYYEEE!!! What up H3:33 Fam Baaaammm!!! Guess what day it iisssss **Insert Geico Camel here** hahaha time for yet another note from MY journey to the man that I am today. I hope you all have been enjoying reading the stories and are able to find a nugget of wisdom here and there 😉. How is everyone? Last minute shopping, scrambling and stressing? I hope not!  It’s the mmmooossst woonnnddeerrffuulll tiimmmmeee oooofffff the yyeeaaarrrrr….the time in which JOY…and PEACE is wished to one another across the world. Be sure to catch some of those vibes for yourself. 

As the year is indeed winding down….there are only 3(including this one) Wednesdays left in 2025…..I wanted to touch on a state of being that was mentioned a few sentences ago. A space that I believe most people are looking for(or already have found) but did/do not truly understand what it “looked and/or felt like”......

PEACE!!!

Not chuckin the deuces at someone, or saying goodbye and the “peace” that arrives at that time. I’m talking about the peace that you feel in your soul because you have addressed the people, places or things…that cause you unrest. 

Merriam Websters defines the “peace” I am referring to as:

1. a state of tranquility or quiet: such as : freedom from civil disturbance, a state of security or order within a community provided for by law or custom, freedom from being disturbed or bothered by people, noise, etc.

2. freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions

3. harmony in personal relations

What does peace look like to you? 

I know that for me….in the not so distant past… I claimed to desire peace but lived in a chaotic manner without seeing the direct correlation to who I was and how I moved in the world….and what type of energy….specifically the feminine energy I was attracted to and attracted into my space. It was actually quite audacious of ME …to feel annoyed, bothered, put off or any other negative emotion you would like to insert here….. without feeling the same about myself. 

LUCKILY for me……I ran across someone who did not HESITATE to tell me about myself and the toxicity that I was sitting in. Simply because SHE saw someone in me…..that I had not yet seen in myself. It is still not the right moment for OUR story….that is for a different time, different platform and probably a collaborative effort. However, I will say……

Over the course of years I had to address my patterns and behaviors……and trust me…..It was NOT always fun and games. Hard truths, uncomfortable conversations, no excuses, shadow work, meditations, and self reflections seemed to be a regular occurrence.  But as the work continued I found freedom from being disturbed or bothered by people, noise, etc. I found freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts and emotions. Which made way for HARMONY in personal relations. And that’s when peace stopped being an idea…..and became a lived experience.

What does peace look like to YOU?

That is the 2nd time I asked that and there is always a method to the madness. When the outside world is not bothering you, when your mind is not your own biggest enemy, and your interpersonal relationships are DRAMA FREE……what does that truly look like………QUIET…..SERENE…..like a beautiful vacation picture…but you never left home. 

I feel like society and media (film, music, TV) has done a number on our psyche. Struggle love, drama, anger, and other forms of toxicity have been normalized so that we do not recognize

1. What a healthy and peaceful relationship(platonic or romantic) looks like 

2. What to do once we have found PEACE

“Do you know how to be happy?”

I will never forget when my LADY asked me that. I know I answered very quickly “Yes!” and might've even been a lil offended….but as she led me down the path to correction….and I sat with my answer….I knew that I did not know the answer to her question. Even being bothered by the question showed that I did not know….cause we have to remember. …..

It’s not confrontation…..It’s conversation….

This isn’t a “reality” TV show where pointless arguments lead to fake resolutions….this is the REAL reality….the one that we have created for ourselves. The one that if we do not like….we have the ability to change…not now but RIGHT now…..because God has given all of us …..FREE WILL. 

I did not know what peace looked like…..or how to be happy….because I did not believe I deserved better than what I had been given in the past. I did not know what it looked like because the world tells us to behave a certain way without being accountable. 

Peace was UNRECOGNIZABLE…..because I had never seen it in MYSELF. Peace was UNRECOGNIZABLE….because I had learned to self sabotage….when things seemed too good. 

But YOU…do not have to be like ME…..You can cultivate the PEACE you want in and life and relationships…..

But YOU…do not have to be like me.
You can cultivate the peace you want in your life and relationships….by first creating it within yourself.

PEACE doesn’t arrive with fireworks or noise.
It shows up quietly…
in the absence of chaos..
in calm conversations…
in consistency..
in safety.

If peace feels unfamiliar, it doesn’t mean something is wrong.
It means your nervous system is learning something NEW.

SIT with it.
Don’t SABOTAGE it.
Let PEACE introduce itself to YOU.

Healing builds strength. Rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on YouTube, IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

Stillness is Strength

MAN!!! I can’t believe I am sitting down to write a new Note for ya’ll! The way time is moving 👀….Appreciate every SECOND!.....WHAT UP THO?!?! How is everyone? I can’t lie…the vibes are HIGH…in my world. I truly hope the same can be said for anyone who decides to spend some of their currency reading this blog. I say something similar in every note….and every week it is the TRUTH. If you are reading this and feeling down….Take a peek at my IG, TikTok or YouTube channel for some light to brighten your soul. Videos, story posts, and meditations ... .a lil bit of everything can be found there to help shift the COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS. Or…if this is your first time reading this….it is possible older posts may resonate with you. Either way….sending POSITIVE energy out to you all!

NOW!....Back to our regular scheduled programming……What do I have in store for ya’ll today?! Ya know….in the beginning of multiple posts I mentioned how I do not enjoy posting content on social media. Well, one day my LADY and I were having a discussion about that sentiment(because she also shares it) and we decided to be much more consistent. I am not on her level yet…..but we are both being much more active on our respective platforms. 

I mentioned that because of a post I shared a few days ago on the 7th entitled “Stillness vs Suppression” and wanted to spend some time speaking on the importance of STILLNESS……

 I am not referring to just being statuesque….this is about how we decide to move in the world and with OURSELF. When I speak of “Stillness” I am speaking of encompassing peace, calm, love, and intentionality. Being IN the moment and acknowledging any and all emotions as they arise.  

Choosing STILLNESS opposed to tension or suppression is a conscious choice that we can make all day every day. Now,  I will NOT sit here and tell ya’ll that I always chose correctly hahaha I am absolutely a work in progress….as we know because this is a NOTE about said progress on this here journey of mine. However, I will say…..that I am better than I have EVER been at doing so and will be even better tomorrow!

Stillness is STRENGTH…..

Those who know me personally, know that about 10-12 years ago I became a highly dedicated gym rat. At my peak…I was going 5x a week for at least 2 hours a session(obviously before I had kids hahaha) which I used to believe was “theraputic”. This is also where I believed STRENGTH resided…….TURNS out….that “Iron Paradise” is where tension, suppression and chaos reside. Clanging and banging heavy weights when stressed, sad, and/or angry does not allow those emotions to flow like your mental and emotional self requires…..it just traps them in the body. It WILL have your physical self looking and feeling exceptional but very much out of balance……because that negative energy is just being transferred…….temporarily.

Stillness HEALS you….

Today…one of my favorite things to do is MEDITATE. This is quite interesting because there was a time not that long ago in which I could not calm my mind enough to even engage in a solid meditation. That phrase “calm my mind” is an important piece to stillness. I know I have mentioned in multiple notes about the power of our mind….that truth remains the same. Allowing the mind to run wild, at a cheetahs pace is absolutely within our control….IF we want it to be…..

If meditation is not your thing….(I do suggest giving it a shot….beginning with guided meditations) there are other ways to embrace stillness. It is all about getting back to YOU….and being present. Find a quiet place to allow yourself the space, time and VULNERABILITY to acknowledge whatever you are dealing with. Journaling and/or reading is another method that I enjoy which can help. In the event that you prefer something that is physical…..YOGA and/or intentional breathwork can also help you return to stillness. 

All of the methods I have suggested are also ones that are tried and true in my experience. I have H3:33 content related to nearly every method I have suggested but more details on that later…..

***Back from commercial break***

Stillness isn’t silence ….. It's emotional honesty without urgency.

Slow the world.
Slow the body.
Slow the mind.

Stillness is not an escape ….
it’s a RETURN!

To the breath.

To the truth.

To the SELF.

Healing builds strength. Rising builds legacy. 

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on YouTube, IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

Lead Yourself First…

Yo YO YYOOOoooo!!! What up H3:33 Fam Bam! I’m back again, so you know what time it iiiissssss. The first major “holiday” of this season has passed and we are three days into December. What’s going on out there? How are we feeling? I’m in a fantastic space and REFUSE to allow the pressures of this time of year bring me down. As always…sending peace, love, and happiness to you ALL!

Now back to business….and what we are here for. Annoootthhheeerrrr Note from the jjoouurrnneeeyyyy. Last week I mentioned how I almost wrote on the topic I used for a social media post but decided to pivot based on the book I was/am still reading. I am truly enjoying the book and if you have never read “The Four Agreements” I highly recommend it….I actually almost wrote about something from that today(12/2/25) but decided to go back to my original idea from last week. 

Leading Yourself First is a principle that is important for anyone who is or wants to be in a relationship, a parent, or simply the best version of themselves. As men, we are taught to “lead” as kids at home, in sports or at school for various reasons. HONESTLY, this wouldn’t be a bad thing but how can we lead anyone else…….if we cannot lead ourselves first? 

If we can’t guide our own thoughts…

our emotions…

our habits…

then the world will guide them for us!

When I say “The world will guide them for us”....this is in reference to indoctrination, the refusal to acknowledge emotions, and the lack of DISCIPLINE. It is also possible I should have said ME….because I have been victim to all three of those throughout my time here on this planet. Honestly….all three concurrently for the majority of my life.

 What that looked like was me being unable to see how PATRIARCHY harms everyone…men included…and how deeply it sits inside religion, politics, and culture.. The indoctrination is so deep that women(not all but a LOT)...who benefit the least from it…cannot always see where the indoctrination sits and fights for it to remain in place. So that, along with my refusal to acknowledge emotions kept me in a space of being ready to explode at any point in time because I was holding everything in and pretending to be OK. Lacking discipline allowed me to be distracted by anything that was visually appealing to me. I.e. women, cars, shoes, jewelry….

So now….because of the aforementioned details…..I was an unregulated child in a grown man body…..Trying to LEAD at work, at home, and eventually as a father….but I cannot even keep myself together. How did I even think that would be possible? If my life is chaos…anything linked to me , that looks to me as the masculine presence…will also be in CHAOS. There is no way around it.

Shortly after my sons were born…there were two things my father told me that always stuck with me:

“You don’t have to be with her… to be a great father”

“Always be sure to take time for yourself.”

Those quotes, and beginning therapy around 8 years ago truly helped me learn how to lead myself first. If I am not happy with who I am as Hiram. Then I cannot and WILL not be the best father, partner, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin,friend or co-worker….that I can be. Or that myself and others deserve. 

Because a man who leads himself:
wakes with intention,
moves with purpose,
and chooses discipline over impulse.

He doesn’t wait for motivation.
He creates direction.

And when you lead yourself first—
your presence becomes leadership.
Not by title…
but by example.

Every man is the leader of one person:
the one in the mirror.

Master him…
and everything else follows.

Lead yourself first.
That’s the beginning of healing…
which builds strength.
And rising…
which builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on YouTube, IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth.

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

Why Are You Still Punishing Yourself?

AYYYEEEE!!! What up H3:33 FAM BAM!!! Here we are, the day before Thanksgiving. I’m feeling pretty great myself.  How ya’ll feeling? I hope the vibes are the same out there. If not….ya’ll know I’m sending positive energy your way. 😁. ESPECIALLY because I hear that tonight is the biggest drinking night in America……Be safe and enjoy the time. However you decide to spend it. 

Now….to what you came for…..Another NOTE from this journey of miinneeee. I originally was going to write this in correlation to a post I put up on all platforms yesterday but in today's meditation something else came to me and I decided to pivot. 

A few months ago when I was visiting my family in Ohio, I stumbled upon a book that I had heard lots of things about but never read. My grandfather didn't even know it was in the house so he didn't care if I took it for my collection. Well this week, I started a new morning ritual which includes reading…..so I choose this book. 

**Sidebar: After I test out these new morning routines, and see how they work for me. I plan to make them available for others to benefit from. 🙂**

I’m not very far in the book( The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz) but the following quote is what inspired this note:

“How many times do we pay for ONE mistake? The answer is thousands of times.”

WWHHOOOAAAA!!! Powerful right…..I almost provided more context from the book but I am sure ya’ll can see where this is going. When I read that line I chuckled to myself because …..BOY! Have I been stuck in a repeated loop of anger, guilt, shame, regret, or sadness from ONE event. Our mind is so extremely powerful and when allowed….it can…and WILL run wild. The quote above specifically mentions a “mistake” as in….something that we did that WE shouldn't have done. Unfortunately the way that RUMINATING is set up……this will happen with things that are done to you by others as well. 

As I’m sitting here deciding upon which example I want to use to paint a picture of a time in which I was stuck paying for a mistake THOUSANDS of times…..I am reminded that I need to get my podcast going or finally truly start putting pen to pad on my book. Most examples require lots of detail so I will keep it simple with a high level overview. 

There have been times….for {insert reason here} that have I gotten lost in rumination for HOURS at a time. Reliving the situation and what I wish I wouldve said or done….over….and over…and over again. Getting so {insert negative emotion here} that it feels the exact same way it did when the situation happened originally. Or what can even be worse….is when we let that SUPER powerful mind of ours truly run wild and create our own twisted beautiful dark fantasy (IYKYK) ….when NOTHING remotely close to that has ever happened and it is unlikely to ever do so……..

BREATHE!!!!

Why do we do this? Why do we allow ourselves to fall into quicksand of negativity? During these times of ruminating…..BREATHE….inhale….exhale….it is VITAL to remember that our mind is LIMITLESS…..and not to waste that power…..on something that places you into a box…

The mind will drag you back into suffering if you let it.

But discipline….the real inner discipline….is choosing not to punish yourself anymore.

You’re not the mistake.

You’re the EVOLUTION!

Healing builds strength. Rising builds legacy. 

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on YouTube, IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

Discipline As Devotion

Yo YO Yooooooooo! What up H3:33 Fam Bam! Guess who BBiiizzaacckkk hahaha nah, it’s Wednesday so you already know what time it is. A new….Note from the Journey. Hot off the presses 😁How ya’ll doing? Holiday season is RAPIDLY approaching and that can bring stress and/or other negative feelings(but hopefully also feelings of joy). Try to stay grounded, PRESENT and find ways to pour back into YOU!

Last week I mentioned that I started a YouTube channel and that the “Power in Presence” entry was inspired by my first YouTube short. Well, I’m keeping the same theme this week and that means that this post is/was inspired by my second short that I also posted last week.

Reflecting back on my journey……and DISCIPLINE…..I can readily think of examples in which I severely lacked discipline and times in which my discipline has been militant like.

So let’s get VULNERABLE…….

Back in 2019-2022…..I am pretty sure that I believed I was a HIGHLY disciplined man. That would not have been an accurate or inaccurate reflection of me at the time.  Let’s call it a half truth haha …..So….I was extremely disciplined in three aspects of my life. Fatherhood, physical fitness, and my career. The good thing is that all of those three items fall under the “physical” domain in the H3:33 equation of wholeness. The bad thing is that there are three other domains a man must master in order to achieve BALANCE. 

Another big thing about only having discipline in the aforementioned areas is that there was a MAJOR area that lacked discipline in the physical arena……and that is the flesh. Not being disciplined enough to control LUST……was and had been a huge hurdle in my life….causing chaos and turmoil. 

Discipline isn’t about perfection….its about alignment…..

I believe that most men will see discipline as CONTROL, but real discipline is devotion….

Devotion to your PEACE…

Devotion to your GROWTH…

Devotion to the man you’re BECOMING…

Discipline isn’t about perfection….its about alignment…..

Alignment between the MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL, and physical domains of the self. Finding the balance necessary to become your most authentic self. Creating DAILY routines that help cultivate, grow, enrich, and maintain your alignment within. 

True discipline isn’t about control……it’s about SURRENDER.
Surrender to the process. Surrender to the vision God placed within you.
Discipline becomes devotion when you stop forcing outcomes and start flowing in alignment.

Healing builds strength. Rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on YouTube, IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

The Power of Presence

YO YO YOOOOO!!!! What up H3:33 Fam Bam!! How ya’ll doing?!? Last week it started getting dark SUPER early….NOW….its COOOLLLLDDDDD outside. Makes sense though because it’s that time of the year. Stay warm, safe, and aligned with what is best for YOU along your journey.

This week was the first week in like 3-4 weeks that I was unsure about what I would write about and up until the morning of 11/11…..I was still undecided. As I was working on my NEWLY launched YouTube Channel (check me out, there's a link at the top and bottom of this page LOL) a video I created and posted that day touched on the power of PRESENCE. So I decided to keep the vibes the same……

“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.” - Eckhart Tolle

ME! I have been this type of human….sitting in a mindset of living for tomorrow…or even WORSE…..reflecting back on past events. While in this space I probably felt like there had to be a better way to move in the world  but did not try(until the last 2-3 years) to shake that feeling. Working hard daily to build a better future for myself. Or ruminating on past mistakes that I had to learn to view as lessons in order to become a better version of myself.

Back in 2020, when the world shut down because of the pandemic, I was able to work from home and the boys’ mother could not. So that was the first time I took over full time Daddy duty. There was a LOT going on in my life at that time(like everyone) and I was just trying to make it through the days. Working from home with 2 three soon to be four year olds was NOT easy…..but I got it done(with the help of my Auntie!). Unfortunately, me getting it done…...was me not being fully present in the now. Looking back at that period of time, I can see where I missed valuable moments that will never return. Enjoying the end of toddler years, better PREPARATION for kindergarten, etc……

Spending time in the past or the future is where EGO resides. To keep us thinking, planning, regretting, or worrying so much that we forget to feel. PRESENCE lives in surrender, not strategy. When we’re present, we connect to the moment GOD is actually blessing us in… not the one we’re trying to control.

Presence is power because it’s where peace lives. The past teaches, the future inspires, but the present TRANSFORMS.

Healing builds strength, rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on YouTube, IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

It’s Not Confrontation…It’s Conversation

AYYYYEEEE What up H3:33 Fam Bam! It’s that time again…..How is everyone? Hard to believe that it is November and that 2025 will be over before we know it. Daylight savings time has hit…. It is dark before 6pm now and sometimes that can impact people negatively. There is no dark without light and life is always about BALANCE. So keep that in mind 😉

As we delve back into another note from the journey….I’d like to talk about the difficulty that can come with having TOUGH conversations. Whether you are the one bringing up the topic or on the receiving end of the conversation. I recently was on the receiving end of a tough conversation because I did not vocalize my emotions properly. I have had to deliver tough conversations because boundaries were crossed, adults were not being accountable for their own actions, or just a typical time on Dad duty. 

I have been on the receiving end of many tough conversations that I did not always handle in a productive manner. I’m much better than I used to be…..so let’s talk about it. The other day I was approached by my lady because my energy seemed “off”....she knows me VERY well and since she thought something was wrong….she checked on me to see what was up. Now truthfully..nothing was wrong at all. So when I was asked, I just mentioned “I’m good”.  At the moment that is what I thought was the truth but after a day of little to no and/or short communication.

A CONVERSATION was had…..That’s when I realized how quickly misunderstanding can grow when silence fills the space where truth should be.

“Not seeing eye to eye can be fixed with a heart to heart” 

Word to my guy Big Sean

Without getting into all of the details, while nothing was truly bothering me, my actual behavior throughout the day was not aligned with how I am when I am “good” . It happened to be a busy day, and typically when I am busy I switch into productive mode……and just like it sounds….I am HIGHLY productive…BUT…in that mode I can also be dismissive. It is not my intention to be rude but if the other person is unaware of this “mode” and when I’m asked if anything is wrong and I say “I’m good” or that “nothing is wrong”......It is easy to understand confusion growing.

It is not CONFRONTATION….It is CONVERSATION…..

Leading with EGO……..in either perspective….the one initiating the tough conversation…..or the one receiving the conversation…..is dangerous. HURT feelings will cause the temperature of the convo to increase rapidly. Whether we are being held accountable or the one holding accountability over another human's head……We have to approach the situation with GRACE and receive with GRACE. 

I am a Sagittarius and we are notorious for being very BLUNT…..I have had to learn grace…in multiple aspects of life. Using conversation as an opportunity for growth…is important to remember. It is not about winning or losing….it is about improving ourselves, our relationships and our lives. 

Sometimes the HARDEST conversations are the ones that bring the most peace. Speak with grace. Listen with intention. Remember it’s not confrontation, it’s conversation.

Healing builds strength, rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

The Lesson Before The Lesson

YYYOOOOOO!!!! Looks like it’s that time again as I am back with another Note from the Journey. How is everyone? The weather’s shifting, the days are shorter, and the holidays are creeping up. In the middle of all that noise, remember to keep yourself on your own priority list 🙂. 

This week’s post came to me on Sunday, after an intense meditation and deep conversation with my llllaady. We were talking and I mentioned how literally every mistake I made in life I was forewarned about at some point in time. The thing about that is….do we take heed to our parents, angels, ancestors, intuition, etc??Or let the ego lead from a place of ignorance? We all have a choice…because there is always a choice….and that is because God gave us FREE WILL!   

Looking back, there are countless times in which I was advised one thing and decided to let my ego lead me into a dark abyss. Hahaha not really humorous but I’m gonna share something that is kinda funny. 

When I was a child I wasn’t shy about letting it be known how I could NOT WAIT to be “grown”. I remember feeling like this at a young age, I am not sure which exact age but I know that is was one in which I had NO idea what it meant to be grown 😂

If I recall correctly….I don’t believe I was hesitant about sharing this sentiment with those older than me. It did not matter who it was….parents….grandparents….aunties…or uncles…..it was one band one sound. “Boy, Stop” in all different variations …….edited mostly but explicit at times hahaha  which was necessary to snap me back into the present moment. I was CONSTANTLY advised to enjoy my childhood, cherish the time and HAVE FUN. Reflecting back…..I can see that nearly every mistake I made could have been avoided if I would've sought counsel or simply LISTENED when I was being blessed with wisdom from an elder.

Being deeper than ever into adulthood I sit back and laugh at “Lil Hiram” wanting BILLS, STRESS, and RESPONSIBILTY.  I just KNEW being an adult was LIT hahaha my Dad used to drink brews with his dinner and to me I assumed it tasted like a caramel float or something……Imagine my disappointment LOL

In this moment today…I TRULY enjoy being an adult, but for stretches of time in adultland…..it’s been rough. Which is why all the people I mentioned above tried to steer me into the direction of childhood enjoyment. But…as we can tell from the theme of this post….I did not have a willingness to listen to advice. 

My discernment has failed me many times and now as a FATHER…..looking back at how I chose not to listen when I was a child/adolescent/teen/young adult. How do I become the breaker of chains?

I have or know someone who has the key to nearly every door my kids will come across…….but what makes them listen?

Life is about the journey , but it doesn't have to be hard at all times. I saw this quote I liked the other day ….

“If you went back and fixed all the mistakes you’ve ever made..you’d erase yourself”

It’s easy to look back on our tests once we’ve seen the answer key, but wisdom isn’t about hindsight…..it’s about HUMILITY. The willingness to SEEK counsel before we CRASH. The strength to quiet the ego long enough to hear God’s whisper. Guidance is always there; we just have to be willing to listen….

Healing builds strength, rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth.

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

The Mirror Moment

AAAYYYEEE!!! What up H3:33 Fam Bam!! Back again to drop another note from the journey of ME becoming my best self. How are you? I hope you’re sitting in a space of peace,love, and growth….but if you’re not, that’s okay too. Every emotion has a purpose when we face it with honesty.

Soooooo to what ya’ll have come for…..another story from me about a mistake turned into one of the morals of MY story. Last week I mentioned how I decided upon  this topic two weeks ago in Starbucks but until right now, I was unsure which story I wanted to share for this entry….but finally decided upon one…..👀

The last three posts were regarding occurrences within the last 3-4 years of my life. This week will be different….as we will journey back nearly a decade… Let me tell you about the time when I thought the problem was “out there” but discovered it was in a much more convenient(or maybe INconvenient) location…….

In March of 2016 I walked into the hospital as a 29 yr old fella and walked out a day or two later as a FATHER. Going into this huge change I knew I was in over my head but it really hit me when it was time to leave the hospital with the babies. I was SO surprised that all the hospital cared about was if I had two properly installed car seats. They did not do a wellness check to see if I was mentally stable, they did not care if I was homeless, or if I had any money. This was the first time in my life that my actions would directly shape someone else’s future…. and here I was..….mad at the hospital for not making sure I was ready to be a father hahaha

ACCOUNTABILITY can be a hard pill to swallow……..

From 2016 til today there have been many lessons on this topic and it was hard for me to pick something more specific because I felt like those were situations better suited for a different category. So I landed on the occurrence that triggered real ACCOUNTABILITY in me…..Now…..a decade ago the growth was in SLOOOWWW motion, but forward progress is progress nonetheless. 

Reflecting back on my hospital story….I chuckle to myself because there I was….looking to place blame/fault/responsibility externally. Looking at the “World” to be the biggest source of disappointment, danger, or distractions for my boys…….before checking MYSELF first. Why would the hospital need to make sure I’m fit to be a parent and have the ability to take care of the kids I helped to create? If I knew that I was lacking somewhere….why would I put myself in a position to add more responsibility onto my plate? It’s not impossible that this happens, but that would lead me back to that hard pill to swallow I mentioned earlier…. 

They say…..and I agree….that we reap what we sow….and I have not always planted fruitfully good seeds in my garden. One day(much sooner than later) those seeds will grow into flowers…some will be full of pain and sorrow…..and others will be full of love and happiness……I’m here for it ALL!

That leads me back to how I said I used to think problems were “out there” but turns out they were in a much more convenient or INconvenient place…..and that is WITHIN MYSELF…..

 Accountability is about looking into that mirror….staring back at the person you see….and deciding whether or not….that person is truly who YOU want to be….

There came a time in which I could not stand….the person I would see looking back at me. So I had to CHANGE…..what I could CONTROL….so that I would become a man I APPRECIATE. See how I brought that full circle(if not…check out the first 3 posts)…😉  

The mirror doesn't lie….but it can teach. Every time we face it with HONESTY, we choose growth over guilt. And that’s where real freedom begins. So take another look….

Healing builds strength, rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

“not my sink. not my dishes.”

YOOOO!! What up H3:33 Fam Bam! Back again with ya’ll for another note from the journey 😁. I hope that as you are reading this you are sitting in a space of peace, love, happiness, and gratitude. If not…just know that things WILL get better. Life is about balance and there is no dark without LIGHT. 

Last week when I was writing my entry for ya’ll…I actually determined what my next two topics were going to be. Which is not how the first two topics came to fruition because I like to write whatever it is I feel in my soul at the time. Lowkey I am happy I did it differently this week because this post will be dropping in a few hours and if I did not know what I wanted to write about…..it’s likely I’d be SCRAMBLING right now trying to figure out a topic hahaha but everything works out exactly how it is supposed to….EVERY…time.

So…..I got a story to tell…well…a LOT of em but this one is about a situation that happened two weeks ago. And it just so happens that a few days prior to this event I had a dream about an interaction that hadn’t happened….now the old me would have just assumed it was “odd”(I have more feels about dreams but that’s a different topic for a different day) but in the space I currently reside….I knew this was a message. I shared the details of this dream with one person before said event. Her and I discussed this dream, why I had it, what it meant and my plan going forward….

After that conversation I was feeling GOOD, prepared and ready for life’s next test. Or so I thought….because….the EXACT….and I mean EXACT situation from the dream showed up on my doorstep. Here was the chance to ignore old triggers, rise above, and build the reality that I want to live. INSTEAD the story has a twist because…….I had ish to GET OFF MY CHEST! I didn’t go 0-100 like I would have in the past…it was more like 0-60… unnecessary nonetheless. I  almost typed “out of character” instead of “unnecessary” but it happened so it was obviously still a PART of me. What this incident did was shine a light on an issue I thought I had truly worked on……CONTROL…..

“Sometimes you just gotta shut the F*!$ up”

A great, honest, direct, corrective and NECESSARY….statement that was presented to me shortly after my dream became my reality. Why did I deviate from the plan I had already created? Why did I let something trigger me that I was divinely prepared for? 

The answer is/was simple….I still had control issues that I had not yet fully released. I often try to fix problems that have NOTHING to do with/are outside of me 🤦🏿‍♂️. “Not my sink not my dishes” “Control the controllable” …two quotes I like and would use if/when I felt myself slipping into the fear of losing control…..yet…when I had the chance to prove to myself and others who are convinced that I am still the version of me they knew YEARS ago…..I returned to what was comfortable for me….while making things uncomfortable for others. 

“Sometimes you just have to shut the F!$# Up”

Control issues are often rooted in trauma that was created by an incident that made us feel victimized/embarrassed/hurt etc..and we vow to never let it happen again. Set the expectation within thyself to control everything we can in hopes to protect ourselves. Not allowing people to help us…..EVEN when it is obvious that we need help….because we want it done a certain way or have a lack of trust in an external energy.

How do we learn to release control? For me, control has always felt like protection….a way to keep chaos away. But the truth is, control is often fear in disguise. Fear that things won’t go right unless I’m steering every move. Fear that if I don’t handle it, it won’t get handled. But healing taught me something new: sometimes the lesson isn’t in the steering, it’s in surrendering.

Being a father made that lesson hit harder. I can guide my sons, but I can’t control their journey. I can show them love, but I can’t choose their lessons. What I can control is my response, my peace, and my presence. 

So this week, I remind myself….and EVERYONE reading this….to control the controllable and release the rest. Trust that God already has the plan in motion.

Healing builds strength, rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey. If this post sparked something in you, or you’ve struggled with control yourself, leave a comment below, on IG or TikTok. Let’s grow together!

Holla at mmmmeeeeee!

Hiram

H3:33

“Thank you, Number four”

YYYOOOO! What up H3:33 Fam Bam! I’m back with another note from the journey. This time I’m sitting in a Starbucks… waiting for my lady to finish her 90 minute massage, listening to the “Mars Frequency” as all this random energy(high and low) enters and exits the building. I hope that you are all having an amazing week and sitting in a space of appreciation and gratitude. I truly wasn’t even sure what I was going to write about this week as I sat down to start typing this but that last sentence hit the switch. Life is constantly evolving and we can evolve with it. Or choose to remain complacent and wonder why our happiness level is failing to improve. Last week I talked about change so I won’t go down that road again but this topic goes hand in hand with change.

I am going to write this with the POV that whomever is reading this, has also read my 10/01 post…ssoooooo if you did not…be sure to do so, that way all the dots can connect.

Over the last three years dealing with the ebbs and flows of life….has taught many lessons but I think my favorite one is that of appreciation and gratitude. There is a saying that people use often when asked “How are you?”....and that is..  “Can’t complain”...

ME…I am “people” because that used to be the way I looked at life sometimes. 

Knowing that things could always be worse….but not truly happy with my life. So saying “can’t complain”....was me wanting to be annoyed/bothered/sad/mad/UNAPPRECIATIVE for situations that were in my control and I did not want to be accountable for. 

BUT if someone dug deep enough….I’m sure the complaints would flow out. Which they did once I met someone who truly wanted me to become the best version of myself. She dug deep to uncover what I had hidden.

Hidden so that I could sit in false bravado, and happiness….I had to transform my way of thinking and be open to healing wounds I allowed to be around for the vast majority of my life. Most trauma is directly related to our childhoods….we will remember the bad things that happened and not recall all of the good times.

 Not thinking about all of the sacrifices our parents made for us, not remembering that they were their own people before becoming mom and dad, or that they were most likely dealing with their own wounds . I probably should not have used “we” there…because this is about ME and I cannot speak for you, but it is possible it will resonate.

 Last week I mentioned resolving a mother wound from childhood. Which is wild because I was blessed with not one mother but TWO! I just chose to look at the negative instead of the positive. Yes, one created that wound but another ROSE TO THE OCCASION, gave up her early 20s to do something I feel like most women would not have done but without that sacrifice…who knows what life looks like for me today. So THANK YOU! Truly!

Currently there are three Hiram’s in my lineage walking the Earth. Before I posted last week, I had a fly conversation with my father about something I mentioned in my initial post. His insight was powerful, right on time, and reminded me how privileged I am to have him in my life. My guy had me when he was 24, gave up his opportunity to be a model, and joined the Air Force. 

Now a couple of things…FIRST AND FOREMOST….at 24 I was absolutely not ready for a kid. For REAL….I wasn’t ready at 29 when I had mine. But I did what I knew was required/expected of me as a MAN….which is one of the many things I learned from my father…Which is something he learned from his father….which is something that was learned from his father( another Hiram 😉💪🏿). Lots of other things were passed down but for the point of this post and to keep it from being mad long…..THANK YOU!  

Today(10/7) is my grandfather's birthday and I shared with him my post from last week…. and his message back to me was “Proud of you number four. You have great things ahead of you. Love Grandpa”. That message did my heart and soul good but he is another one that I did not appreciate like I should have. Along with my uncle and grandmother(his son and wife) that I lost and would LOVE to have conversations with in my current mindset. 

All those words to say….sitting in a space of appreciation and gratitude is one that we should always look for. Of course there could always be something to complain about…but why? Why waste the time/energy to do that…when that same time and energy can be used to pour back into those who poured into you? Or even better yet….to POUR BACK INTO YOU! 

Now it is not lost on me that I grew up with a level of privilege that was not afforded to everyone. Having both my father and my grandfather to look to is something that I will never again take for granted. Because I know so many men…Especially Black men….who never had that example. Some never even met their fathers.

Much of my family, for instance, carries wounds I can’t pretend to understand. And while our stories are different, it reminds me that gratitude isn’t about comparison…...it’s about compassion. It’s about recognizing what we’ve been given and using it to pour into others who are still searching for that guidance. 

Gratitude changes the way we see everything. It transforms lessons into blessings and turns pain into perspective. Whether it’s the sacrifices made before us or the growth we choose now, appreciation is the bridge that keeps our legacy alive.

Healing builds strength, healing builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMMeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

when change chooses you

What up H3:33 Fam Bam! Welcome to the first installment of my blog. This has been a long time coming and quite frankly is well overdue. I have been terribly inconsistent with my social media presence for H3:33 because I truly do not enjoy social media nor making content. Regardless of that, I have the framework for a book, feelings, insight, wisdom, and a desire to connect with those who resonate with my message. I know that means many will not want to read this for various reasons and I am completely at peace with that. Everyone is here for a specific reason and has their own path to follow and tests to pass. Sending positive energy and love to all. 

    My journey to the Hiram of today, sitting here typing to you at my dining room table while my kids are in school has been a tumultuous one. Without even going back too far, I will talk about all of the changes I have experienced since moving to my current place of residence(~3 years)…..

• Started a new position at Verizon

• Took over full time parental duties of my sons

• I found a best friend who became the love of my life, my inspiration, and one to check me when I’m TRIPPIN (which used to happen MUCH more than it happens now…..THANKS BABY!)

• My favorite Uncle became an ancestor

• My last remaining grandmother joined her son as an ancestor

• My 2nd favorite Uncle joined the ancestral realm

• I forced a Co-parental change rooted from an NOW RESOLVED mother trauma wound

• I lost the same (what some would call a very lucrative) job I mentioned up top

• Started Hiram’s Holistic Healing

• Currently contemplating yet another co-parental change

MMMAAAAAN!! It's been a time….and I’m sure there are things that I have possibly forgotten but those are the heavy hitters. I shared these moments to talk CHANGE…..voluntary and involuntary. 

   One of my favorite doctors likes to say “people only change when they are uncomfortable” and if we look at the current situation this country is in……many people are UNcomfortable. So how do we handle it?   

   Change isn't easy…it stretches us in ways we never asked for. Sometimes it feels like we’re being dragged through fire, and other times it feels like stepping into new air we’re not sure how to breathe. The challenge is real. Fear of the unknown, losing what’s familiar, and letting go of who we thought we were can shake us to our core. But here’s the thing…those exact struggles are the soil where the growth is planted. Without discomfort, there's no strength. Without loss, there's no gratitude. Without endings, there can be no beginnings. 

   When I look back, I see that every uncomfortable shift carried a hidden gift. The pain of losing loved ones made me cherish life more deeply. The job I lost cleared space for me to walk in my purpose. The battles in co-parenting forced me to heal old wounds. Change has been both my teacher and my test. And whether we choose it or it chooses us, one truth remains: change is not against us…it is for us. The question we must ask ourselves is not “Will change come?” but “How will I grow through it?”

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or even challenges…

Healing builds strength, rising builds legacy.

 Feel free to leave a comment below, reach out on IG, TikTok, or my contact me page above . I’m always open to thought-provoking conversations and feedback for growth. 

Holla at mmmmeeeeee!

Hiram

H3:33