It’s Not Confrontation…It’s Conversation

AYYYYEEEE What up H3:33 Fam Bam! It’s that time again…..How is everyone? Hard to believe that it is November and that 2025 will be over before we know it. Daylight savings time has hit…. It is dark before 6pm now and sometimes that can impact people negatively. There is no dark without light and life is always about BALANCE. So keep that in mind 😉

As we delve back into another note from the journey….I’d like to talk about the difficulty that can come with having TOUGH conversations. Whether you are the one bringing up the topic or on the receiving end of the conversation. I recently was on the receiving end of a tough conversation because I did not vocalize my emotions properly. I have had to deliver tough conversations because boundaries were crossed, adults were not being accountable for their own actions, or just a typical time on Dad duty. 

I have been on the receiving end of many tough conversations that I did not always handle in a productive manner. I’m much better than I used to be…..so let’s talk about it. The other day I was approached by my lady because my energy seemed “off”....she knows me VERY well and since she thought something was wrong….she checked on me to see what was up. Now truthfully..nothing was wrong at all. So when I was asked, I just mentioned “I’m good”.  At the moment that is what I thought was the truth but after a day of little to no and/or short communication.

A CONVERSATION was had…..That’s when I realized how quickly misunderstanding can grow when silence fills the space where truth should be.

“Not seeing eye to eye can be fixed with a heart to heart” 

Word to my guy Big Sean

Without getting into all of the details, while nothing was truly bothering me, my actual behavior throughout the day was not aligned with how I am when I am “good” . It happened to be a busy day, and typically when I am busy I switch into productive mode……and just like it sounds….I am HIGHLY productive…BUT…in that mode I can also be dismissive. It is not my intention to be rude but if the other person is unaware of this “mode” and when I’m asked if anything is wrong and I say “I’m good” or that “nothing is wrong”......It is easy to understand confusion growing.

It is not CONFRONTATION….It is CONVERSATION…..

Leading with EGO……..in either perspective….the one initiating the tough conversation…..or the one receiving the conversation…..is dangerous. HURT feelings will cause the temperature of the convo to increase rapidly. Whether we are being held accountable or the one holding accountability over another human's head……We have to approach the situation with GRACE and receive with GRACE. 

I am a Sagittarius and we are notorious for being very BLUNT…..I have had to learn grace…in multiple aspects of life. Using conversation as an opportunity for growth…is important to remember. It is not about winning or losing….it is about improving ourselves, our relationships and our lives. 

Sometimes the HARDEST conversations are the ones that bring the most peace. Speak with grace. Listen with intention. Remember it’s not confrontation, it’s conversation.

Healing builds strength, rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

The Mirror Moment

AAAYYYEEE!!! What up H3:33 Fam Bam!! Back again to drop another note from the journey of ME becoming my best self. How are you? I hope you’re sitting in a space of peace,love, and growth….but if you’re not, that’s okay too. Every emotion has a purpose when we face it with honesty.

Soooooo to what ya’ll have come for…..another story from me about a mistake turned into one of the morals of MY story. Last week I mentioned how I decided upon  this topic two weeks ago in Starbucks but until right now, I was unsure which story I wanted to share for this entry….but finally decided upon one…..👀

The last three posts were regarding occurrences within the last 3-4 years of my life. This week will be different….as we will journey back nearly a decade… Let me tell you about the time when I thought the problem was “out there” but discovered it was in a much more convenient(or maybe INconvenient) location…….

In March of 2016 I walked into the hospital as a 29 yr old fella and walked out a day or two later as a FATHER. Going into this huge change I knew I was in over my head but it really hit me when it was time to leave the hospital with the babies. I was SO surprised that all the hospital cared about was if I had two properly installed car seats. They did not do a wellness check to see if I was mentally stable, they did not care if I was homeless, or if I had any money. This was the first time in my life that my actions would directly shape someone else’s future…. and here I was..….mad at the hospital for not making sure I was ready to be a father hahaha

ACCOUNTABILITY can be a hard pill to swallow……..

From 2016 til today there have been many lessons on this topic and it was hard for me to pick something more specific because I felt like those were situations better suited for a different category. So I landed on the occurrence that triggered real ACCOUNTABILITY in me…..Now…..a decade ago the growth was in SLOOOWWW motion, but forward progress is progress nonetheless. 

Reflecting back on my hospital story….I chuckle to myself because there I was….looking to place blame/fault/responsibility externally. Looking at the “World” to be the biggest source of disappointment, danger, or distractions for my boys…….before checking MYSELF first. Why would the hospital need to make sure I’m fit to be a parent and have the ability to take care of the kids I helped to create? If I knew that I was lacking somewhere….why would I put myself in a position to add more responsibility onto my plate? It’s not impossible that this happens, but that would lead me back to that hard pill to swallow I mentioned earlier…. 

They say…..and I agree….that we reap what we sow….and I have not always planted fruitfully good seeds in my garden. One day(much sooner than later) those seeds will grow into flowers…some will be full of pain and sorrow…..and others will be full of love and happiness……I’m here for it ALL!

That leads me back to how I said I used to think problems were “out there” but turns out they were in a much more convenient or INconvenient place…..and that is WITHIN MYSELF…..

 Accountability is about looking into that mirror….staring back at the person you see….and deciding whether or not….that person is truly who YOU want to be….

There came a time in which I could not stand….the person I would see looking back at me. So I had to CHANGE…..what I could CONTROL….so that I would become a man I APPRECIATE. See how I brought that full circle(if not…check out the first 3 posts)…😉  

The mirror doesn't lie….but it can teach. Every time we face it with HONESTY, we choose growth over guilt. And that’s where real freedom begins. So take another look….

Healing builds strength, rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey! If this post sparked questions, comments, or reflections. Feel free to comment below, hit me up on IG, or TikTok. I’m always down for a thought-provoking discussion or feedback for growth. 

Holla at MMmeeeeeee

Hiram

H3:33

“not my sink. not my dishes.”

YOOOO!! What up H3:33 Fam Bam! Back again with ya’ll for another note from the journey 😁. I hope that as you are reading this you are sitting in a space of peace, love, happiness, and gratitude. If not…just know that things WILL get better. Life is about balance and there is no dark without LIGHT. 

Last week when I was writing my entry for ya’ll…I actually determined what my next two topics were going to be. Which is not how the first two topics came to fruition because I like to write whatever it is I feel in my soul at the time. Lowkey I am happy I did it differently this week because this post will be dropping in a few hours and if I did not know what I wanted to write about…..it’s likely I’d be SCRAMBLING right now trying to figure out a topic hahaha but everything works out exactly how it is supposed to….EVERY…time.

So…..I got a story to tell…well…a LOT of em but this one is about a situation that happened two weeks ago. And it just so happens that a few days prior to this event I had a dream about an interaction that hadn’t happened….now the old me would have just assumed it was “odd”(I have more feels about dreams but that’s a different topic for a different day) but in the space I currently reside….I knew this was a message. I shared the details of this dream with one person before said event. Her and I discussed this dream, why I had it, what it meant and my plan going forward….

After that conversation I was feeling GOOD, prepared and ready for life’s next test. Or so I thought….because….the EXACT….and I mean EXACT situation from the dream showed up on my doorstep. Here was the chance to ignore old triggers, rise above, and build the reality that I want to live. INSTEAD the story has a twist because…….I had ish to GET OFF MY CHEST! I didn’t go 0-100 like I would have in the past…it was more like 0-60… unnecessary nonetheless. I  almost typed “out of character” instead of “unnecessary” but it happened so it was obviously still a PART of me. What this incident did was shine a light on an issue I thought I had truly worked on……CONTROL…..

“Sometimes you just gotta shut the F*!$ up”

A great, honest, direct, corrective and NECESSARY….statement that was presented to me shortly after my dream became my reality. Why did I deviate from the plan I had already created? Why did I let something trigger me that I was divinely prepared for? 

The answer is/was simple….I still had control issues that I had not yet fully released. I often try to fix problems that have NOTHING to do with/are outside of me 🤦🏿‍♂️. “Not my sink not my dishes” “Control the controllable” …two quotes I like and would use if/when I felt myself slipping into the fear of losing control…..yet…when I had the chance to prove to myself and others who are convinced that I am still the version of me they knew YEARS ago…..I returned to what was comfortable for me….while making things uncomfortable for others. 

“Sometimes you just have to shut the F!$# Up”

Control issues are often rooted in trauma that was created by an incident that made us feel victimized/embarrassed/hurt etc..and we vow to never let it happen again. Set the expectation within thyself to control everything we can in hopes to protect ourselves. Not allowing people to help us…..EVEN when it is obvious that we need help….because we want it done a certain way or have a lack of trust in an external energy.

How do we learn to release control? For me, control has always felt like protection….a way to keep chaos away. But the truth is, control is often fear in disguise. Fear that things won’t go right unless I’m steering every move. Fear that if I don’t handle it, it won’t get handled. But healing taught me something new: sometimes the lesson isn’t in the steering, it’s in surrendering.

Being a father made that lesson hit harder. I can guide my sons, but I can’t control their journey. I can show them love, but I can’t choose their lessons. What I can control is my response, my peace, and my presence. 

So this week, I remind myself….and EVERYONE reading this….to control the controllable and release the rest. Trust that God already has the plan in motion.

Healing builds strength, rising builds legacy.

Check me out next week for another glimpse into the Journey. If this post sparked something in you, or you’ve struggled with control yourself, leave a comment below, on IG or TikTok. Let’s grow together!

Holla at mmmmeeeeee!

Hiram

H3:33